What Happens in Vegas
starring Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Rob Corddry, Lake Bell, Dennis Farina, Queen Latifah, Treat Williams and Dennis Miller
written by Dana Fox
directed by Tom Vaughan
Rating: ♦♦♦
While my favorite film ever is Norman Jewison’s Jesus Christ, Superstar (1973), my favorite kind of movie is the Romantic Comedy. That is why I picked What Happens in Vegasoff the video shop shelf in the first place, and that is why I am predisposed to like it. And I did like it, although it is definitely a chick flick, a girls’movie. Romantic comedies have a special meaning for me because they more or less reflect how I feel about relations between the sexes - more like a horrible, sick and demented joke than anything else.
Men and women are not meant to co-exist.
A couple meet and marry in Las Vegas on a drunken binge. The morning after they jointly agree on a quick annulment, but before they can do that they win a three million dollar slot machine jackpot. Dennis Miller plays unsympathetic Judge Whopper who ignores their annulment request and forces them to stick with their marriage for at least six months before being able to claim and split the money. The six months becomes a contest of endurance in which the couple try trick each other out of their claim to the money by duping the other into violating the judge’s conditions.
I liked Dennis Miller’s character, and I immediately thought of his name, “Judge Whopper.” Was Miller (or, Dana Fox, the screenwriter) making a Burger King joke? I thought he was playing off the name of Judge Joseph A. Wapner, who became famous as the first of America’s TV judges in 1981 with the launch of his show, The People’s Court. (I used to like watching Judge Wapner. But I detest the species of television reality judges - especially that foul harpy Judge Judy - who have followed in his footsteps.)
If I could make someone dead with my mind, it would be you.
My favorite scene is when Cameron Diaz’s character, Joy, tries to teach her new husband, Jack, the magic of the toilet seat, with a slow, soft voice and motherly indulgence (like training a mentally challenged child): “Now watch. See, it goes up, and down. Up. Down. It’s like magic. Watch again. Up, and down.”
Another one: Joy’s friend Tipper fending off Jack’s friend, Hater, “If I could make someone dead with my mind, it would be you.” Isn’t that how women usually feel about us? I was just glad to hear it spoken out loud to honestly set the record straight. And, I’ll try to remember that one because it sounds like it might come in handy in the future.